


City of Angels: Meeting Mama Griffin

by ButMakeItGay



Series: City of Angels [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, It's kinda filthy ngl, Meeting the Parents, Mostly an excuse to have them ooof in Clarke's childhood bed, New Years, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:47:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22094323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButMakeItGay/pseuds/ButMakeItGay
Summary: "Ssssooo… how would you feel about… maybe, officially, meeting my mom?"Looking up startled from where she was taking down an ornament, Lexa stared at her girlfriend, gaping eyes opened wide. "Uh…" she stalled gracefully, wetting her lips as she blinked out of her shock induced stupor. "What are you- What? Like… now?"//////////////////Clarke takes Lexa home to meet her mom
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: City of Angels [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1590307
Comments: 54
Kudos: 298





	City of Angels: Meeting Mama Griffin

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my wonderful beta commander-leksa, send her good vibes, she deserves every last one 😌
> 
> Read end note please!

"Ssssooo… how would you feel about… maybe, officially, meeting my mom?"

Looking up startled from where she was taking down an ornament, Lexa stared at her girlfriend, gaping eyes opened wide. "Uh…" she stalled gracefully, wetting her lips as she blinked out of her shock induced stupor. "What are you- What? Like… now?"

"Not right  _ now, _ obviously," Clarke shook her head. "But maybe in… two days?" Clarke asked quietly, face scrunched in a guilty sort of way. "We'd only be gone for four days though. Just over New Year's."

Seeming to notice the look of confusion on Lexa's face as she glanced back and forth between the tree and herself, Clarke rushed to continue. 

"It's just, I blew her off last year because it was more like our first real Christmas together, and I wanted it to be just you and me. And the year before that I had to work and everything was so new between us, ya know?" she barely paused for a breath. "But now that I ditched this Christmas, she's starting to get really pushy and, frankly, I'm tired of listening to it. I haven't visited her in like three years. I just gotta bite the bullet and go. And I have the time off and she's offering to pay and… and I want her to meet you."

Lexa quietly listened as the woman rambled off her list of reasoning, silently taking in everything that she said. It was true, Clarke hadn't gone home in the two years they'd been together, her last visit being about a year before Lexa had fallen. And while they’d informally met over video calls and exchanges of a few cordial texts, neither girlfriend nor mother had ever actually been tangibly introduced. 

Unfreezing as her girlfriend continued her tumble of words, Lexa finished packing away the ornament before wordlessly walking back over. 

"I think it's time. Not that I like, owe her anything," Clarke spiraled on, "I'm not seeking her approval. I just think, I mean we've been together for two years now, it's becoming ridiculous that she hasn't met you." 

"I agree."

"I'm not nervous either," she continued without stopping, barely seeming to register the arms that slid up her sides to lightly hang over her shoulders. "I know I kind of painted a shit picture of her, but she's really not  _ that  _ bad-"

"I want to meet her."

"She's just protective, and a little contro- what?"

"I wanna meet your mom,” Lexa nodded, smiling softly as hands settled on her own hips.

"... You sure? Because I can go alone if you-"

“Oh no,  _ we're _ going. It's time I met your mom... I’ll call in a minute to get the time off work… And even if I can’t, I’ll just quit.”

“Babe-”

“Seriously, Clarke. This is more important.” Seeing the lip tuck gently between teeth, her girlfriend looking torn from apparently having forgotten the minor detail of Lexa actually needing to deal with her job, Lexa rolled her eyes fondly as she reached to thumb the supple flesh free. “I serve coffee to rude people. Believe me, love, I do not care if I have to find something else. And besides, I’m sure Luna will be fine with covering for me.”

“Egh, I’m sure she will,” Clarke snipped, shaking her head as her shoulders slumped. 

“Ya know, for someone who told me very early on that you’re not into jealousy-”

“I’m not jealous,” Clarke scowled even as she pulled Lexa in to tightly settle their hips together. “I have nothing to be jealous  _ of… _ I just wish the girl knew how to keep her eyes and mouth in check.”

“You realize like fifty percent of that is just to get a rise out of you, right? She’s harmless.”

“She’s handsy.”

“That was one time,” Lexa laughed incredulously. “She was helping me to not fall-”

“Lexa,” Clarke glared. “No. You can stabilize someone without having grabby hands all over their butt.”

“Waist; they were on my waist.”

“Whatever.”

She was ridiculous about this and she knew it, and Lexa knew that Clarke knew that she was being ridiculous, but either way, Lexa simply smiled and kissed the grumpy frown all the same. “I’m going to ask her,” another kiss, “and if she says no,” another, “then I’ll quit… Because there is no way I am not going.”

“You're sure you're ready for this?” Clarke asked, grinning up in soft affection.

“Definitely,” Lexa nodded, fingers playing with twisted strands of blonde. “I can’t wait to see where you grew up... The plethora of baby pictures alone are worth the trip.”

The smile fell from pink lips as fast as it had sprung, blue eyes flattening in a deeply unimpressed look. “Never mind. We’re staying home.”

“Uh huh, fat chance,” Lexa laughed as her arms were unceremoniously lifted off Clarke’s shoulders and tossed to her sides. “I’m looking at every last one your mom says is the best.”

“No,” Clarke yelled as she walked swiftly down the hall toward their bedroom, tossing a hand in the air as she rounded the door. "Forget it. Forget everything."

“I’m excited!” Lexa beamed after her, bending to grab another ornament off the tree.

“We’re not going!”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Oh, well… alright then… I usually don’t even let my girlfriend get this fresh in public.”

“Baby…” Clarke called to capture Lexa’s awkwardly grinning attention from the next metal detector over, “Now's definitely not the time.”

She watched the teasing look slide off her nervous girlfriend’s face as she finally registered the stoney expression being directed at her from a rather burly looking TSA. Clarke couldn’t help but snort as she took in the display, feeling bad about her amusement at the completely hapless woman. A loud, “Alright, you’re good,” cut off her thoughts as she grabbed her bag from the bin and moved to meet Lexa when she was done.

“That was-”

“I know,” Clarke cut off, well aware of how invasive the process felt at first.

“Talk about handsy, yeesh.”

“Well I told you not to wear that.”

"Yeah," Lexa nodded vigorously, smoothing a had over the metal buttons on her shirt. "Lesson definitely learned."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

_ "So they worked? YESSSSS I am a god" _

_ You saying it like that makes me feel like you weren't sure… _

_ "Nah, no. I knew it'd be fine. It's all good… It's all gravy. Of course they let her through because I knew they would and everything's fine." _

_ … Are you fucking saying you weren't sure if her ID and shit would pass? _

_ "Well my abuela never flew so… Look it's fine, she's good." _

_ Godammit Raven _

_ "Love y'all have a safe trip ✌👅💦🍑🍆" _

"I don't like this."

Clarke glanced up from where she had been powering down her phone. "Don't like what?"

"I feel like we're sitting in a tin can that's about to be flung across the country."

Frowning in thought… Clarke eventually shrugged. "I mean you're not wrong."

"That's not helping me."

"Are you alright? You look pale."

"Nope. I am not good at all right now- oh jesus fuck, we're moving."

"Yeah, we're getting ready to take off… Hey. Look at me," Clarke gently instructed, feeling like an ass for not having noticed her girlfriend's pallor and silent freakout sooner. She reached over, drawing the window shade shut to stop nervous eyes from continuing to morbidly glance out at the source of her fear. Cupping an iron locked jaw, Clarke ran her thumb over the swell of Lexa's cheek. "Breathe, baby."

"I don't want to take up too much oxygen."

"That's not possible, sweetheart," Clarke chuckled, reaching up to turn on the small blast of cool air. "It's gonna be okay."

"I can't believe you people do this everyday," Lexa quietly hissed as she clasped Clarke's free hand in a borderline death grip when they felt the plane speeding up.

"It'll be better once we're in the air," Clarke assured. Leaning forward to press soft distracting kisses to worriedly frowning lips as she spoke, she was grateful for the privacy afforded to them, their sole seating row companion being a distinctly pissed off crated Penny. "Takeoff and landing, that's the only bad parts."

"This entire species is insane."

"Remember the first time you rode in a car?" Clarke tried again, resting their heads together to keep Lexa focused. "Raven thought you were gonna pass out on the highway."

"I don't understand people's obsession with going so fast," her girlfriend huffed, eyes sliding shut… only to fly right back open as the plane tipped back. 

Seeing the panicky look mixed with the lethal increase of gripping pressure being exerted on her hand, Clarke rushed to keep talking. "But you were fine, right?" she chirped happily as they continued to ascend. "It was just new… You always get freaked out at first, but then you get used to it because you're fucking awesome."

"Stop talking to me like I'm a child," Lexa glared lightly. 

"I'm not, baby," Clarke chuckled, more than used to her girlfriend's grumpy disposition whenever the woman felt particularly foolish or out of control. "I'm just saying everybody gets nervous their first time flying. Just like with driving. You completely flipped... Now look at you; you drive all the time… Hey. Remember Raven's face during your first lesson?"

She watched plump lips twitch slightly in amusement. "... She looked like she wanted to be sick."

"I'm pretty sure she did. Now  _ she's _ such a dramatic hoe," Clarke smirked leaning back enough to see her girlfriend clearly. "Remember every time you went over fifteen, she'd go, 'woah-woah-woah-woah ohmygodstop!'?" 

"Even though it was a completely empty parking lot? Yes."

"And that time when you turned too close to that divider-"

"It was literally ten feet away, Clarke."

"-And she called you 'a fucking menace', and then made me switch seats."

Laughing at the memory together, Clarke leaned over to taste the smile on her lips, sighing in relief as she felt the plane begin to level out. 

"... Thank you," Lexa whispered, nuzzling gently into the curve of her jaw. "I'm sorry I'm such a handful."

"You're not. The first time I flew I cried and had to hold a complete stranger's hand because she felt so bad for me."

"You were just a kid-"

"I was eighteen years old," Clarke drawled, smiling as she felt the snicker vibrate against her neck. 

"Still," Lexa sighed, resting her head on Clarke's shoulder. "Thank you… You always know exactly what to do."

"No problem, baby. I knew you'd be fine."

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"I'm never doing this ever fucking again," Lexa said with conviction as she forcefully yanked her bag out from the compartment above their heads after they had landed. 

"We're flying home in three days so…"

"Yeah, well, I'll walk."

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Clarke!"

"Oh god, I didn't realize she'd be meeting us here," Clarke grumbled as she hauled their single humongous piece of luggage off the conveyor. "Okay. Game faces, baby… And remember, no matter what happens during this trip? You love me and you're stuck in this relationship."

"What-"

"Clarke, sweetheart, finally," Abby breathed in a loud rush, grabbing her up as soon as she had fully turned around. "I know you're busy, but really? So long between visits?"

"Sorry, mom," she murmured, returning the embrace as best she could with her arms practically pinned to her sides. Feeling herself pushed back by the shoulders, Clarke stood still for the obligatory once over. 

"You look...  _ healthy _ ."

"Thank-"

_ "Very _ healthy _... _ But I suppose your thirties do that everyone."

"Ah. There it is."

"I wasn't-"

"Hey!" Clarke interrupted, smiling jovially as she looped an arm around her girlfriend and abruptly pulled her closer. "Speaking of healthy things. Mom, I'd like you to officially meet my girlfriend, Lexa Woods. Lex, this is my mom, Abigail... Griffin. Obviously."

"It's so nice to meet you," her girlfriend doted, wrapping both of her hands around the one being offered. "I'm sorry it's taken so long, but I'm glad we're finally doing this. I've heard so much about you, Dr. Griffin."

Abby smiled softly and took the exuberant handshake in stride, patting the excited woman's hands before letting go. "Abby will work just fine, and it's nice to meet you too. I look forward to getting to know you better. Getting information out of Clarke is more difficult than trauma surgery."

"I look forward to it as well."

"Wonderful. Well, my car is very precariously parked out front, so, shall we?"

Receiving twin answers of approval, Lexa snatched their suitcase in her free hand before Clarke could even make a move and darted forward to follow. 

"Oh dear. Clarke. This luggage. It's so old. We should get you something new while you're visiting, don't you think?"

"... And so it has begun." Sighing deeply, Clarke hoisted her single carry-on more securely over her shoulder and resignedly trailed after.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Home sweet home," Clarke spoke beside her, an awkward sort of grin spreading over her face.

"Holy shit," Lexa breathed, taking the room in in all its glory. 

She stood in the doorway as her girlfriend meandered into the room, plunking down the carrying crate before opening the small metal door. "Be free, you brat," Clarke called when Penny dashed past them both, the small tinkling of her new collar receding as she bounded away in search of her favorite, long lost detester. 

"Holy. Shit."

"I know," Clarke chuckled as she grabbed the suitcase and started placing their clothes into her dresser. 

"H-... How did you never mention you grew up with a pink bedroom?"

"Because I hated it?" her girlfriend smirked as Lexa became unstuck and actually moved into the room. "My  _ mom _ painted it this when I was, like, six. And she refused to let me change it despite many tantrums and protests."

"Don't… take this the wrong way," Lexa said hesitantly as her eyes moved over the various posters, pictures, and sketches that littered the walls. "But… You're not- you don't really seem like you were ever a 'pink' kinda girl."

Feeling arms slide around her hips, Lexa relaxed back into her girlfriend as she rested her hands on the ones holding her. "That's because I wasn't. I mean I like pink, just not a whole room of it. I thought it was pretty for about an hour and then hated it, and begged her to change it back."

"Why wouldn't she?"

"She said it was, and I quote, 'a perfectly lovely color for a perfectly lovely young lady'."

"... Ew."

"I know," Clarke agreed, popping a kiss to her neck before drawing back to finish with her task. 

Eyes sweeping the expanse of the room, a reoccurring thought bubbled up as she took in the splashes and swipes of meticulously placed colors and hues. 

"Can I ask you something?" Lexa asked after several minutes of wandering around the room, her fingers gently grazing over the scratchy material of various canvases. "Why don't you paint anymore? You sketch sometimes but… I mean, look at all of these pieces. And the ones at home. Why don't you do them anymore? I love them."

Sitting heavily on her bed after stashing the empty cases under her bed, Clarke exhaled a loud breath as she twiddled the edge of her blanket. "Well… The ones at home, I mostly did in college. These were all art class assignments from high school. I always dabbled in it but… I don't know. I guess as I got older my attention just shifted. The hospital takes up so much of my energy... and then now there's you."

"I'm s-"

"Stop. No, I didn't mean it like that," Clarke cut her off with a lazy wave. "I meant, when I have free time I  _ prefer _ to spend it with you and friends. I get so little time where I'm not working or recovering from work, I like putting my energy into the people in my life instead of a hobby."

"Do you not miss it though?" she prodded gently as she came to sit beside her. "The creativity and stuff?"

"Mmmm, not always, but sometimes I think about it. I'll see something or think of something and go 'huh, that'd be fun to paint'."

"What kinda stuff?"

"... Well," she mused before grinning devilishly, "Your sweet naked ass for one."

"Oh jesus, Clarke," Lexa chortled, shoving the woman sideways on the bed. 

"I'm serious," Clarke laughed and argued as she righted herself again. "I'd love to paint you… Paint you like one of my french girls."

Shaking her head at the leering idiot's wagging eyebrows, Lexa leaned back on her elbows to continue scanning the room. "... I love your work, honestly... So I guess if painting my boney ass is what-"

"Your ass is literally one of the only things on you that isn't boney."

"-Is what it would take to get you painting again," Lexa continued with a roll of her eyes, "I'll do it... Seriously, I wanna swipe all of these and take them home, I love them that much."

"I mean, you can," Clarke shrugged as she mirrored her girlfriend's position. "They're just sitting here. Although, they look like shit compared to the stuff at the apartment."

Tsking as she rolled over and swiftly on top of Clarke, Lexa ignored the surprised  _ oof _ as she sat up and repeatedly poked the woman in the chest. "They do not. Stop with the comments."

"Okay, alright. Mercy," Clarke yelped, grabbing the jabbing wrists as Lexa relaxed her hands against her stomach. Clarke looked so pretty laid there beneath her, hair fanned out in gentle waves of gold as blue eyes glittered up at her, feeling so soft beneath her touch. Adoring greenish greys traveled over the expanse of the lovely figure… as an unsettling thought occurred to her. 

"Why did your mom say that earlier?" At the silent blink of confusion, Lexa elaborated. "The whole, 'My, don't you look  _ healthy' _ thing," she said in a strange approximation of a British accent that in no way resembled the woman's voice. "What was that about?"

"... Ha. That was her way of calling me fat, baby."

"What?" Lexa demanded as sat straight up. 

"Yeah," Clarke chuckled as she ran her hands soothingly over the thighs that straddled her. "Well, maybe not  _ fat, _ per se. But that was her delicate way of saying she thinks I've gained weight."

"But you haven't," she insisted. " _ Believe _ me. I know exactly how you fit in my hands, and it's the same as it's always been."

"Genuinely can't decide if that's meant to be sweet or dirty."

"Both."

"Oh. I like it," Clarke grinned impishly. "But no, you have to remember she hasn't seen me in person in a couple years. And yes, I have gained like ten pounds."

Frowning and shaking her head obstinately, Lexa ran her hands over the curves and swells of her girlfriend's body. "I don't believe that, but even if it's true, who cares? You'll always be stupidly gorgeous and sexy to me, no matter what."

"Aww. You'll think I'm super sexy when I'm old and grey and my boobs hang down to my knees?

"Long boobs and all," she nodded resolutely. "You could gain however much weight with your boobs dragging the floor. I'm going to want you. I _love_ _you."_

"Well thank you, baby," she smirked lightly as Lexa craned down to slowly press the honesty of her words to expectant lips. "But really, that's just my mom. She has an opinion on everything... And she speaks in codes, so you'll need to learn that too."

"Okay but in what world does healthy mean fat though?"

"Abigail Griffin's School of Passive Aggressive Tendencies… Healthy means fat, 'that's nice' means 'that's stupid', and 'if that's how you feel' means 'I think everything you just said is wrong'. It's a complex and frustrating language, but don't worry, I'm here to help translate."

"... You know what? I've changed my mind, we don't have to go to your mom's."

Quietly laughing, Clarke nodded as Lexa relaxed into her body. "It'll be okay. Like I've said, she's not mean. Not explicitly, anyway. Just… opinionated. And not that sly about it."

"These statements aren't comforting, Clarke," Lexa grumbled into the skin of her neck. 

"You'll manage. Because you love me and she'll figure that out and it'll be fine."

"You telling me or yourself that?"

"Oh, definitely myself," Clarke laughed. 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Dinner was going… pleasantly. 

All things considered.

Her mother had eventually called them down to supper, making Clarke feel as though she were fifteen again as the ringing of her voice broke up the conversation that had dissolved into a pretty decent makeout session. But it was nice. It was peaceful; their plates ladened with all of her holiday favorites, though Clarke didn't have the heart to tell her mother neither women really cared for the sickly sweet flavor of the overly candied leftover yams. 

She realized fully that this was yet another of her mother's ploys to guilt her into submission, inundating them with food and stories of the not-so  _ accidentally _ just missed holiday gathering of old family and friends. 

Her suspicions were inevitably validated when her mother finally got to the point. 

"Your Uncle Thelonious managed to stop by… He told me to tell you how sorry he was to have missed you, yet again."

"Mom," Clarke exhaled through her sip of wine, "while I sort of doubt he actually said that, and I'm sorry I missed him too, please stop calling him my uncle."

"You know what I mean," Abby dismissed easily. 

"I didn't think you had any siblings, Dr. Griffin," Lexa asked across the table from where she sat (in what Clarke was sure was part of her mother's plan to divide and conquer), eyes innocently looking at the matriarch as she worked through her food. 

"She doesn't," Clarke rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair. "Thelonious is Wells' dad. I've known him since I was a kid, but we were never exactly close by any stretch of the imagination."

"That's simply not true, you two had countless sleepovers and birthday parties at the Jaha's."

"That doesn't mean I was close to the guy. He was just my friend's dad. And let's face it, Thelonious isn't exactly the warmest person I've ever met."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," she intoned as Clarke's eyes twinkled darkly as they snapped to her girlfriend, "but he's always been perfectly lovely to the both of us."

"Mom-"

"Wells' dad, huh," Lexa cut in completely nonchalantly. "Wells was your best friend as a kid, right?"

Oh, Lexa. 

Grateful for girlfriend's sweet hearted attempt to channel the subject to something more pleasant, Clarke internally groaned as the adorable yet oblivious woman actually unwittingly helped her mother out. "Yes," Abby smiled indulgently. "Those two were thick as thieves from the very start."

"Here we go."

"Thelonious and I used to joke that whenever you heard a crash, whoever you saw first was the one playing decoy for the other, and that's how we always knew who was actually at fault."

Smiling delightedly, Lexa glanced over at her. "So you've always been a little hellraiser?"

"You have no idea," Abby chuckled. "Once when they were about seven I think, I had this really big old locked cupboard where I kept all the Christmas presents hidden."

"Oh jesus christ."

"Language, Clarke. So. One evening, I'm reading and I hear this huge thump from upstairs. I run up and find the two of them frozen in front of the door of the cabinet, which was now laying on the floor, with unwrapped presents scattered everywhere."

"What in the world?"

"They had managed to get their hands on a screwdriver and  _ unscrewed the hinges _ on the door."

"How was I supposed to know that the whole damn thing would fall off?"

"What'd you think would happen?" Lexa chuckled along with her mother. 

"That it'd just swing open the opposite way," she demonstrated with her hand. "Instead the middle lock thingy broke and  _ boom. _ Door on the floor and shit everywhere."

"How much trouble did you guys get in?"

"Surprisingly, not that much."

"Honestly I was more impressed than anything," Abby shrugged as she sat down her silverware. "The ingenuity alone was enough to earn at least some points. But also the teamwork involved; I had to give credit where credit was due."

"We worked as a team, we failed as a team."

"It really is a shame how things ended between you two."

And just like that, her laughter died. "Mom," she warned quietly. 

"What?" Abby held a hand up innocently. "Like you said, you two were a team... It was a shame that things didn't work out."

"What is a shame is that we ever dated at all," Clarke corrected, draining the rest of her glass of wine with a scowl. 

"Would you like a refill as well, Dr. Griffin?" Lexa asked as she immediately began to replenish their glasses, looking at her girlfriend meaningfully as Clarke nodded in gratitude. 

"No thank you," Abby said as she swirled the remnants of her own beverage. "I think two glasses is  _ more _ than enough for dinner." 

Clarke watched her girlfriend freeze for a moment before lifting her chin and refilled her own glass. Winking across the table at the small tick of a smirk, Clarke tipped her glass in cheers and took a sip. "Anyway," she drawled, "we never should've dated. It ruined our friendship, and you know this, mom."

"I just thought you two were adorable together," Abby defended. "I mean, how lovely would that have been? Childhood sweethearts-"

"Which we were not."

"- Growing up and getting married."

"Which we did not. Because we weren't in love. And by the way, isn't he  _ married _ to someone now?"

"Why yes, yes  _ he _ is."

Shit.

Scrambling from having walked right into that one, Clarke slapped on a patronizing smile. "See? There you have it. He's happy with his wife, and I'm happier with Lexa than I've ever been in  _ my _ life. Everything worked out exactly how it was meant to."

Abby was quiet for a long moment as Clarke looked across the table at feeling a small nudge to her shin, catching soft affectionate eyes gazing at her as grinning lips mouthed a silent 'I love you'. 

"I just wish you were more settled," Abby eventually started softly. 

"I'm-"

"We're very settled, Dr. Griffin." 

Calculating eyes slid over at the unexpected interjection, Clarke nervously watched as her mom seemed to size up her girlfriend. "... I told you, Abby works just fine."

"Right, I'm sorry," Lexa nodded and cleared her throat. "But it's true, we're very settled. And like Clarke said, we're very happy. We have our home and our friends and… We're a family."

"Didn't you move into Clarke's apartment as soon as you started dating?"

_ "Mom-" _

"I did, yes," Lexa spoke up before she could really get going. "And I get it. On the outside it may have seemed… impulsive... But we just sort of knew from the beginning that this was something real. And big. And we didn't really feel like waiting."

"I'm sure that's all well and good... I just worry, Clarke. You're not getting any younger-"

"She's getting better," Lexa stressed, frowning to her left at the woman. "Every day I'm more proud of her, and who she is, than I was the day before."

"How long have you two been together again?"

"We just celebrated our two year anniversary on December 3rd, but I've known Clarke for years," she grinned proudly as she spoke. "She's brilliant, and kind, and successful. And she's only become more so the longer we've been together."

"... I just envisioned her life to be so different at this point," Abby sighed again after a long moment, her shoulders slumping as she pushed away her plate.

"But I'm happy mom, isn't that the point?" Clarke huffed, her tank of fuck's to give starting to run on empty. 

"Of course it is," her mother sniffed, straightening up indignantly. "But how can you realistically have me believe you're as happy as you could be? You're thirty-six, unmarried, living in an apartment, working at a hospital- in a  _ field, _ that is  _ beneath _ your education and talent. There's so much more you could be doing."

"You do this every time. Are you fu-"

"You know what? It's actually getting late," Abby cut off, standing fluidly and beginning to gather their plates. "I- I apologize for speaking out of turn. You're right. It's your life and I shouldn't... I'm quite tired, as I'm sure you are from your travels, so why don't we shelve this and try again tomorrow."

"Oh uh, let me help-"

"No," Abby shook her head definitively at her girlfriend as she tried to stand up, grabbing the plate out of her hands and adding it to the pile before she could react. "But thank you. I'm just going to put everything away and go to bed myself. You two should do the same."

Clarke fumed silently as she stared at her genuinely flabbergasted girlfriend who sat there staring dumbstruck at the doorway her mother had disappeared through.

Every time. This happened every time she was home. She knew her mother meant well, but for fucks sake. Could she really not just accept Clarke as she was? Rubbing her forehead as she scooped up her glass, Clarke stood and smiled apologetically at the still flummoxed woman across from here. 

"Well, home sweet home, indeed."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"I gotta say, I kinda figured this would be tense, but…"

"I'm sorry, baby. She's being even more of an ass than usual," her girlfriend sighed as she tossed on her night shirt and started to tug off her leggings.

Chewing her lip in thought as she finished unbuttoning her shirt and slipped it off, Lexa reran the entirety of the dinner debacle over and over in her mind. "I just don't get it… I mean, you're happy and healthy- actually healthy. Not whatever that other one was... You're successful and in a loving relationship. You own your own apartment, have an amazing career… I don't get it, I don't get what more she could want."

"To her, no matter what I do, there's always room for improvement."

"Honestly I thought it'd be me she was all over," Lexa mused as Clarke turned down the sheets while she finished changing. "I genuinely had this whole spiel worked out for when she inevitably told me I wasn't good enough for her daughter."

Chuckling darkly and with absolutely no amusement at all, Clarke slid under the sheets and patted the bed beside her. "Your time has not yet come, but it will. She lulls you into a false sense of security and then bam, it'll be all, 'hmm, do you  _ really _ think child development is a wise choice? What do your parents say? Do you have any idea how much that field  _ pays? _ Do you have a five year plan? My, such a  _ young _ face. How  _ young _ exactly are you again?'... Just wait."

"Sounds fun," Lexa joked as she slid into bed, naturally rolling onto her side as her girlfriend shuffled in snuggly behind her.

"It will be," Clarke joked, squeezing the arm around Lexa's waist as she continued. "But don't worry, baby. I'll be here… And for the record, she  _ does _ like you, even if it may not seem like it right now. Or at least she doesn't  _ not _ like you- I'm serious," she laughed at the loud guffaw of disbelief. "If she didn't she wouldn't have told you to call her Abby."

"Uh huh. That's why she snatched that plate out of my hands?"

"That was aimed at me, you were just caught in the crossfire," Clarke assured quietly as she leaned up to kiss her before laying back down. "Tomorrow will be better. She got her obligatory list of complaints out of the way tonight. Tomorrow will just be booze and food while she snipes at me for not visiting more often."

"... Well, whatever happens," Lexa mumbled as she let her eyes slide shut, "… I'm still planning on hitting her up for baby pics."

"I hid them all earlier. Now shh, go to sleep."

And she tried. 

Really, she tried. 

But after several long minutes, Lexa realized her mind was simply refusing to shut down. 

It was just so odd, this whole situation, with her being stuck right smack dab in the middle. She was excited to be here and grateful to see new glimpses of her girlfriend's life, but the tension and awkwardness was honestly more than she had expected. 

She had been locked and loaded and fully prepared to defend her own honour, but now she just felt up ended at the prospect of playing mediator between mother and daughter. 

It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with the notion, at least not explicitly. It was more the not knowing exactly where to draw the line. Because the whole dynamic was bizarre and she had no idea how to take it, unable to read the cues from her girlfriend who seemed to waffle back and forth between simmering anger and exhausted resignation. 

She wanted to make a good impression, but also be supportive of Clarke, the tightrope between offending either woman seemingly impossible to navigate.

"Baby, please stop moving."

Realizing her silent ruminations must've not been quite so silent, Lexa sighed as she twisted over onto her back, apologizing for accidentally elbowing her girlfriend in the side. Not wanting to burden Clarke's mind anymore than it already must be, she decided to share at least part of the truth of what had been keeping her up. "I'm sorry, I can't sleep."

"What's the matter?"

"I've never slept in a bed other than ours... This one isn't as soft and it doesn't smell right."

"It's just a bed, Lex."

"Besides," Lexa continued to complain despite not wanting to be a hassle, "my body feels like it's 8 o'clock. I feel like we should be up doing stuff." She looked over as blue eyes popped open, staring at her softly as she rambled. "I'm sorry… I just feel wound up still. I don't know how you're tired already."

"I'm not, but I can sleep anywhere at anytime… But if you can't sleep, then let's stay up."

"I don't want to disturb your mother."

"We won't," Clarke assured as she pulled Lexa even closer on the modest full sized bed. "My mom can sleep through anything, where do you think I got it from?"

"I don't kno-... What are you doing?"

"What does it feel like I'm doing?" Clarke whispered simply against her skin as lips wetly started trailing over the column of her throat. 

"Something we are absolutely not doing in your mother's house," Lexa scandalously hushed as she shifted her neck away and out of reach. 

Snorting in disbelief, Clarke leaned up on an elbow, clicking on the small lamp beside her before turning back. "Baby, we're here for three days."

"So?"

"So you're really saying we're not going to have sex for  _ three days _ ?"

"I don't know, but we're not having sex with your mother two doors away."

"I'm pretty sure she's aware that we fuck, Lexa."

"We're in your childhood bed," she stressed as though that were most damning piece of evidence to ever tip the scales of reasoning. 

Heaving a suffering sigh, Clarke collapsed onto her back, staring at the ceiling as Lexa glanced guiltily out of the corner of her eye. "You act as though this bed has never seen even a tiny bit of sex before."

"I love you, but I really don't want to hear about the people you've slept with in the bed I'm currently laying in," Lexa shook her head gingerly, invoking the code they had used at home before her and Raven had ultimately just gone out and bought a new mattress as a… present. 

Was it childish? Yes, absolutely. Had they had fun spending three days thoroughly breaking it in anyway? Also, yes, absolutely. 

A hand swatting her lightly on her stomach retook her attention, eyes moving to stare at the fondly frustrated woman. "I meant me fucking myself, you dope."

Flushing red at her spectacular jump to an apparently incorrect conclusion, as well as the images that  _ that _ statement evoked, Lexa stuttered slightly as she thought of how to respond. "Well I-I didn't know. You're such a, a- you're so…"

"So what?"

Swallowing at the dangerous lilt to that question, Lexa rushed to actually finish her thought. "You know. Free and confident about your sex life. You said your first time was when you were seventeen, I just figured… ya know. You meant you eventually did stuff here."

Narrowed eyes softened at her fumbling train of thought, Clarke nodded after a moment and looked back up as Lexa exhaled in relief. "Well, for the record, no, I have not slept with anyone in this bed. Not that it matters-"

"It really doesn't, I honestly didn't mean it like that."

"I know," she sighed, hands rubbing circles over her own lower belly.

Lexa relaxed for having gotten out of that misstep cleanly. 

"But you don't have to worry about that…" Clarke spoke slowly after a moment. "If you're having trouble with mental images, fully realize it should all be of me… Laying here, every holiday home from college… quietly fucking myself until I fell asleep."

"Jesus, Clarke," Lexa grumbled, clapping a hand over her face. "Stop that."

"What?" she asked in a way Lexa could see the smirk behind the shield over her eyes. "You know I have an extremely high sex drive."

"Yes, I'm well aware."

"So imagine how lonely I was all those nights," Clarke started again lowly from beside her. "Sometimes I'd use a pillow, if I just needed the friction… But I always came harder when I used my fingers."

"Devil woman," Lexa whisper-hissed as she flung her head to the side, glaring at the smug face still turned upward. 

"Mmm felt pretty heavenly to me."

"That was awful."

"I'd be so worked up... I'd have to slide my hand, just like this," she narrated as her hands glided smoothly over the familiar path. "You know how I get when my nipples are played with."

Lexa huffed sharply as she bit her bottom lip, eyes traitorously glued to the t-shirt covered hand fondling heavy breasts. 

"Then I'd slide my other hand down, over the little dip of my belly," Clarke demonstrated, Lexa mechanically shifting the blanket further down their legs as she watched this play out. "I'd scratch along my hips… like how you run your teeth over that one spot?"

"Yeah," Lexa grumbled dumbly, squeezing her thighs together at the thought of the soft patch of skin that was habitually adorned with her mark. At this point it had practically become a tattoo on the woman's body with how often Lexa refreshed the fading purples, yellows, and blues. "Your hips are so sensitive."

"They are, it drives me crazy… And when I couldn't take it anymore, I'd go lower."

"... Then what?" she asked without thought, not knowing when she had rolled over to better see the outline of her girlfriend's sinfully practiced hand as it dipped beneath her underwear, the tips of her own fingers dragging feather light patterns across a slightly spread thigh. 

"I'd fuck myself the way I wished someone else were here to do," Clarke breathily moaned, fingers dragging from the visible patch of wetness up to press gentle circles to overheated flesh. 

Chewing her lip in guilt and an obscene amount of arousal, Lexa battled with her waning sense of decorum and a very explicit desire. Watching her girlfriend's hand shift downward again, Lexa abruptly gave up the fight… mostly. 

"Can I watch?" 

"You are watching," Clarke smirked lazily. 

"No, I mean… Take those off," she said with more conviction. "I… I wanna  _ watch _ you. Take those off."

"Mmmm, I'm busy. You take them off me."

Deciding that that was actually fair (and technically correct), Lexa adjusted and shuffled down to the end of the bed. Sitting on her heels between Clarke's legs, Lexa hooked her fingers under the material of her girlfriend's panties and drew them off, a hushed strained sound falling from her lips as she watched the revealed hand at work. Glancing up, she saw her girlfriend ruck up her sleep shirt to allow her eyes to roam freely as nimble fingers continued to tweak and tug. 

"Take yours off too, hotstuff."

"Clarke."

"For inspiration, baby," she grinned at the low warning growl, smiling when Lexa's eyes glazed over as Clarke coaxed out another dribble of wetness. 

Weighing the pros and cons of the situation, Lexa ultimately realized how useless she was for this woman, grabbing and lifting the end of her shirt to discard it on the floor before haphazardly slipping off her underwear. "Happy?"

"I'd be happy if this were you," Clarke sighed as she kept running her fingers through slickened folds, eyes tracing hotly along the length of Lexa's body. "Only you make me come as hard as I do."

"Yeah?" she whispered, sliding her hands along smooth legs in encouragement. "I like this too though. Seeing how you like to touch yourself."

"I used to fantasize about finding someone who could fuck me the way you do. Feeling those hands all over me instead of my own."

"... What else would you think about?" Lexa murmured quietly as she shifted to settle on her stomach between spread thighs. It was kind of mind blowing seeing the tapered fingers glide so expertly through slippery folds, enrapturing to the point that Lexa wondered why she hadn't asked to watch her girlfriend get herself off before. 

"I'd think about feeling them inside me… Pretend it was a warm mouth on me… Like it was a tongue licking my clit."

"You always taste so good… Especially after you've come a few times for me already," Lexa mindlessly shared as she inhaled the intoxicating scent. Hearing the needy whine above, her hands bracketed lightly around writhing hips while her lips painted the insides of her thighs. "When you're so wet, and grinding against my mouth… dripping down my lips."

"Fuck, baby, please touch me," Clarke groaned, her fingers speeding up the circles working over her clit.

"But you're doing so good, you look so beautiful like this." 

She watched the woman desperately chase an orgasm that seemed to linger just beyond her reach, her movements turning choppy as sweat started beading along her brow. "Go inside, love. You feel so tight when you're this close," she practically begged, reaching forward to press her hand over circling fingers and guide them down. When she met the gripping ring of muscles, she gently pushed her first finger forward, inhaling as they sunk inside together. 

Having thoroughly lost the plot on why this whole thing had started, Lexa licked her lips as Clarke matched her stroke for stroke. "See how good you feel?... So warm and wet."

"Fuck," she heard moaned as silk gripped and fluttered around her. 

See, it was things like this. She never understood how she always managed to end up in situations like this with her girlfriend. Not ten minutes prior she would've very confidently proclaimed that there was no way she'd end up knuckle deep in hot wetness, senses zeroed in on every clutch and drag of skin on skin while under a stranger's roof… but... here she was. 

_ Devil woman. _

Focusing on dragging her teeth over the swell of a shaking thigh, her lips trailed higher without conscious consent. "I wanna taste you."

In lieu of an answer, hips shot forward as Clarke removed her hand entirely. Not needing anymore prompting, Lexa latched her lips to the straining swollen bud, replacing the lost finger with two more of her own as she watched hands knead and squeeze swaying flesh above. 

Lexa released an unconsciously loud wanton moan as the flavor exploded across her palate. It was salty and slightly sweet; the thick, slick spiciness of her impending orgasm igniting a pulse that raced through her and landed directly between her thighs. 

"Yes, baby. Oh my fucking god."

Pulling back with an audible pop, Lexa stared hungrily at the swollen lips that hugged her thrusting fingers. "You feel so good… I'm so weak for this."

"Yours, baby" Clarke panted between moans. 

"All of you," Lexa groaned, capturing the twitching clit in her lips to lick and tease for a few minutes more. "Your mouth… your hands," she rasped, opening obediently to suckle when Clarke traced still damp fingers across her lips, moaning at the residual tang of her arousal.

"Christ, come here," Clarke breathed, tugging on any piece of Lexa she could reach. 

Lexa swiftly crawled up the length of her body, slowly pulling out to crash their lips together in a heated kiss. Grabbing the backs of Clarke's knees, she spread her girlfriend wide open and held her in place. Broadening her stance, Lexa pulled away from messy lips, eyes darting down as she ground down into wetness. 

"Oh fuck," Clarke choked.

"If you're gonna seduce me… I'm gonna fuck you the way I want," Lexa grunted as she slid and slipped against her, hips jolting every time she felt a particularly delicious swipe to her clit. "I'm so gonna be mad at you about that later."

"Mhm, just don't stop."

Panting wildly, they hummed and groaned as they swayed together, grinding her hips in punishing snaps and circles. 

Lexa loved it when they came together like this. It was raw and needy and soft in a strange dichotomy of sensations. She couldn't exactly call it lovemaking, but the intense intimacy, the heart rending  _ heat _ that came from such a carnal act managed to feel like so much more than fucking.

Hands gripped her waist as Clarke curled forward into her destruction, a desperately whined, "I'm gonna come, baby," keening into the air between them. Clarke howled as Lexa's hips shot away, the pained sound spiked into a sharp expulsion of bliss as Lexa darted back down to take her back into her mouth. Two quick firm licks to the length of her slit, Lexa wrapped her lips around the redden bud and tasted the moment her girlfriend broke. 

It was these little stolen moments that she lived for; when she practically had to hang on to the trembling body for dear life to move with her through her peak. 

Feeling the desperation in the undulating hips as they obscenely ground against her lips, teeth, and tongue, Lexa slipped a hand between her own thighs, three rough circles sending her quickly over the edge. Humming her own orgasm into the swollen flesh, Lexa thumbed the sensitive bundle of nerves as she slid her mouth down to drink from the source. 

It was heady and intoxicating, her eyes rolling at the sharp taste of Clarke's release mixed with the musk of her own arousal. Feeling hips drop back down and settle, Lexa lightened and removed her touch, tongue taking over to gently run along the puffy red flesh as she cleaned up every drop she found. 

She wasn't sure how long she had been mindlessly tasting and re-tasting when a hand lightly landed on her head. Looking up, she grinned at the vision of Clarke in all her blissed glory; eyes shut, jaw slack, legs and arms peacefully akimbo. 

Clarke looked the most gorgeous kind of wrecked, and Lexa relished the small flame of pride. 

Pausing to place a small kiss to the short patch of blonde curls (and one more to the fading bruise on her hip) Lexa climbed slowly up the woman to capture her lips in a kiss. It took a moment for her affections to register, a sluggish tongue licking into her mouth as she moved off to the side so as to not suffocate the poor woman.

The warm, wet slide of Clarke's tongue made her heart pound and then settle, enjoying the simple intimacy of kissing her deeply after how intensely they had spiraled. Running her hands along the plains of her back, waist, and sides, Lexa shuffled and pulled until they were flush from head to toe. A thigh lazily slung over her hip, the hold locking them into each other. 

After several long moments Clarke eventually pulled back, foggy eyes sliding open as she sighed in content. "Jesus."

"Right?"

"I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too," Lexa whispered, slowly sliding her nose against Clarke, dipping forward to gently suckle away the small spot of slick that had smeared there in their come-down makeout. "Mmmm pussy flavored Clarke chin."

Snorting at the comment, Clarke lazily tapped the butt cheek she had been caressing. "You're an idiot."

"An idiot that just fucked your brains out, pretty spectacularly if I say so myself."

"Yeah, that you did," Clarke pleasantly smiled.

"... Which only happened because you are a scheming little shit," she affectionately whispered. 

"Okay, first of all, you sound like Raven. Second, I wasn't scheming in the slightest. I am completely innocent." 

Lexa stared blankly. "Innocent?  _ Innocent?" _

"Yes," she nodded imperiously (or as imperiously as one could with a t-shirt hiked up over their breasts). "I was minding my own business, practicing the natural and healthy exercise of masterbation, and then you face planted into my vagina. That is not my fault."

"You seduced me with your feminine wiles like I was a slobbering piece of meat."

"... Yeah I did," Clarke finally broke with a shrug and a devilish grin before pecking pouting lips. "But honestly, ya folded like a deck a' cards, Woods. And that part really isn't on me."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Pulling on the faded sweater she had pilfered out of her girlfriend's dresser, Lexa gazed at the slightly drooling woman still asleep in the small bed. Though they had sufficiently tired each other out the night before, Lexa was still running on a certain amount of excited adrenaline and nervous anticipation. She'd laid there for almost an hour trying her best not to squirm, eventually giving up the ghost and dragging herself out of bed. 

After brushing and braiding her hair into a tight plait, she tiptoed out of the room and eased the door closed. Figuring there was no reason to change up their normal routine, Lexa made her way downstairs to put on some coffee.

A cursory glance over the foreign machine, Lexa thanked her part time occupation for coming through in the clutch. 

Letting her mind wander, Lexa leaned her elbows on the counter as she stared out of the window, taking in the snow covered trees and rolling lawn that was so different than their home. She wondered what it must have been like for Clarke growing up here, watching the changes of seasons passing right before her eyes. It wasn't that she didn't love their home in LA, it was just… how could she not like the scenarios her mind envisioned?

Slow rainy days curled up in each other, listening to the small pings as water drummed on their sill. Or blustery winters spent perpetually warming one another, frozen-nosed dotted kisses as they weathered the elements hand in hand. Clarke had told her of her childhood love of the snow, regaling her with stories of snowmen, sledding, and hot cocoa. 

"You're up early."

Nearly face planting in the counter as she jumped a foot at the voice, Lexa wheeled around to face the newcomer. "Dr. Griffin. Good morning. I- um, I'm making coffee," she mumbled needlessly, pointing to the gurgling machine across the room. 

The woman just hummed as she walked over to a cupboard and took down a couple of mugs. "Clarke not up yet?"

"No, I usually let her sleep in on her days off. Her hours can be kinda weird at home, so I usually just make sure there's coffee for when she gets up."

"So she sleeps in a lot?"

Lexa was starting to learn this weird language Clarke had warned her about, though the knowledge didn't help stop her heckles from rising slightly. "Well, like I said, she works late sometimes. She's got a lot of responsibilities doing what she does, so I think she deserves the sleep."

"Of course," she nodded politely as she poured two steaming cups of the brew. "I just meant it must be hard for her to get a lot done if she tends to sleep her days off away."

"It's not-" Lexa said before stopping, taking a moment as she centered her thoughts. "Clarke is very capable, to the point I sometimes worry that she spreads herself too thin. She wants to be so many things to so many people… but that's what I'm here for. Or… at least I try to be."

"How so?"

Lexa eyed her warily, but only for a second, deciding if she wanted to create a connection with this woman, there was no point in being dishonest. 

"Clarke's very impressive," she chuckled after a deep breath as she stirred some sugar into the mug that had been slid over to her. "She works really hard and is very respected in our world of people... I just try to be there to- I don’t know, fill in the gaps?… We take care of each other. When one of us can’t keep up with everything in our lives, the other jumps in... I'm not sure what Clarke has told you, but I'm actually going to school right now."

"Yes, she's mentioned it," Abby replied dryly. "Something in child development I understand."

"Yeah, with an emphasis in emotional therapy," she nodded, choosing to ignore the tone of the woman's voice. “So I’m busy a lot. Between that and work we can get stretched thin… But it’s nice. We make time for each other. And we work for each other, if that makes sense. That’s why I like to let her sleep, because then I can do things around the apartment so that she doesn’t have to worry about it. And then when I’m overwhelmed, she does the same for me.”

Lexa stopped talking, realizing how much she had been sharing, but she just couldn’t help herself whenever the subject of her relationship came up. And she’d be damned if she didn’t do her most to make the other woman see how happy they were; how she didn’t need to worry about the woman in her daughter’s life.

Several silent moments passed as the mother looked at her, brown eyes tracing her face as she seemed to digest what she had said. A deep exhale broke the connection as she shuffled over to the small table and took a seat. “Well… I can’t say that’s not lovely and reassuring to hear,” Abby said heavily, leaning her forearm on the tabletop as she stared off into the distance. “It’s just hard for me, when it comes to Clarke.”

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked as she gingerly lowered herself into the seat opposite her. "If you don't mind me asking."

“I don’t know if Clarke… how much she’s spoken about her father, Jake.”

“Not much,” Lexa admitted. “Just that he passed when she was really young… She feels bad sometimes that she doesn’t remember him more. She’s said that from what she’s heard, she feels like she should.”

“It’s a shame that she doesn’t,” Abby continued while taking a sip. “He was absolutely crazy about her.”

“Of course he was. I mean, who isn’t?” Lexa grinned slightly at the thought of her girlfriend gently snoring away on the floor above.

“Yes, Clarke has always been incredibly charming… But nothing was like the way her father used to talk about her… He used to carry her around with him everywhere. Or if he wasn’t carrying her around, wherever he went she’d be toddling a few steps after.”

“That sounds adorable.”

“It was,” Abby smiled sadly as she fiddled with her cup. “... He would talk about the things he would teach her and show her. He was convinced she would be the first astronaut-doctor who’s art rivaled Van Gogh.”

“She was already doing art at five?” Lexa gaped in confusion.

Snorting in amusement that sounded so much like her girlfriend, Lexa watched as the smile turned more genuine as Abby shook her head. “Absolutely not. At least not like what normal people would consider art... No, one day her father had been painting the front porch, and when he was done he brought the paint cans inside. Well,” Abby breathed as she tilted her head in exasperation at the memory, “a tiny set of hands managed to get ahold of the not so secured one. In the five minutes it had taken him to track me down to have a look, we come down to see a rather... enthusiastic, set of finger painted pictures along the front hall.”

"Oh no,” Lexa laughed into the back of her hand.

“Oh yes, it was everywhere. Tiny hand prints and drippy little happy faces; she really went to town.”

“That sounds amazing.”

“Well her father certainly thought so,” she sighed, relaxing subduedly back into her chair. “He went out and got her a little art set the next day… He was always doing things like that. Every time she showed an interest in anything, he just  _ knew _ she’d be the best at it. He had so many dreams for her… I’ve tried so hard to fulfill that for him.”

And then it all made sense. 

Stomach sinking at the sheen of tears, Lexa finally understood. Despite being one now, and making a myriad of her own mistakes, sometimes it still hit her how self-defeating humans could be despite their best intentions. How easy it was to convince or justify themselves, especially when the motivations came from a place of love.

“I worked so much to keep the home that we have because I wanted to save his insurance for her… that the time I actually had with her, I tried to make up for both of the absent parents in her life. But all I’ve ever seemed to do is drive her up the wall, despite only trying to keep her going in the best direction.”

Clearing her throat lightly, Lexa wondered if she were wading into a minefield, but decided to give it a try anyway. “Is that… is that why you’re so hard on Clarke?”

Brown eyes snapped up to her own, a small spark of defensiveness glowing within their depths. “Don’t presume to know my relationship with my daughter.”

“I don’t,” Lexa gently replied as she leaned forward on the table. “All I know is what she’s told me. What she says she feels.”

“And what exactly does she say that she  _ feels?” _

Lexa took a moment to consider her answer to the huffed question, choosing to answer in a more abstract way in the hopes of avoiding a confrontation. “... Clarke is… She has a very hard time believing she’s worthy of things. She always feels like she has to earn everything in her life. And when she does… She never seems to believe that what she's done is quite good enough.”

“I- Of course she’s good enough,” the woman scoffed, shaking her head at the words. “I’ve always thought she was brilliant and-”

“I know you do,” Lexa assured her. “I know you love her, otherwise you wouldn’t worry. But I think somewhere along the line…”

“What?”

Chewing her lip for a moment, Lexa shrugged minutely. “I think you forgot that the point of all of Jake’s excitement was because he wanted her to find what  _ she _ loved to do... That his plans or your plans aren’t and shouldn’t be her plans, at least not necessarily. Because only she can really know what makes her happy in the end. And she loves her job, for example... That’s actually how we met."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah. I volunteer there in the play area and, and I got to see her work firsthand. She's breathtaking at what she does. The patients love her, she's so wonderful with them... She was born for it. For those kids."

"She's really so… she can do anything. Especially when she stubbornly puts her mind to something."

"She can, and she does," Lexa beamed. "She really does... And she loves her apartment. Even though we actually are saving up for a house-”

“She is?” Abby cut off with a furrowed brow.

“Oh yeah, Clarke’s been saving since she moved. It’ll probably take us forever, but it’s what we both want eventually. And once I’m out of school I can start contributing more, though Lord knows she makes money hand over fist compared to what we spend,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “She’s just hellbent on not having a mortgage hanging over her head. Which I get, but like-”

“Hold on,” Abby stopped her, holding a hand up in the air for a moment. “She’s saving up to buy a house  _ in cash?” _

“Yes, but I think once I’m officially working at the hospital she’ll be more realistic, otherwise we probably won’t be moving until we’re in our sixties.”

“Working at her hospital?”

“Yeah. One of the women who works in the children’s area is going to retire soon, and Clarke’s pretty much worked it so that as soon as I've got my degree, I can start.”

Shaking her head slightly, Abby leaned forward again as she looked at Lexa with perplexity. “So, let me get this straight… You two have already decided you’re going to  _ buy _ a house together, and work together, after a little over two years of dating?”

“Two years of living together, but yes.”

“And what if this relationship doesn’t work out?”

Swallowing slightly at that, Lexa shrugged again. “I think it will... I’ve been in love with her since before I was lucky enough to actually be with her. She’s wonderful, and perfect for me, and I try my best to be what she needs in a partner... Even on bad days or, or when we fight? I still love her. Very much. Because she’s it for me... I want to take care of her, for the rest of my life. That was the whole point of- of us being together.”

“You’re talking like you plan to marry her.”

“Oh I definitely do,” Lexa nodded vehemently, seriously. “I  _ am _ going to marry her. If she’ll have me, of course. But I don’t really worry about that, because I know she loves me as much as I love her... She’s sacrificed for me and supported me, encouraged me and protected me. I mean, she’s practically my wife in every way except paperwork… That’s a huge reason why I was- am, why I am, so excited to get to know you better.”

“What I think has never seemed to really have any bearing on how Clarke decides to live her life,” she said drolly.

“It does though, Dr. Griffin. More than you know. She cares very much what you think," Lexa corrected. "But that’s not what I meant… I was never lucky enough to have parents. Not like Clarke did. But… I would like to be close to you. Because she’s a piece of you, and that means something to me… So, I’m sorry if you don’t like me, or if you think I’m not good enough for her. But I want you to know, at the very least, I will work my ass off everyday to be worthy of her. And I suppose by extension, you.”

And for Lexa it was as simple as that. The truest cut and dry answer to it all. While she hadn’t said it in so many words to Clarke herself, having a relationship with her assumed future mother-in-law did weigh on her mind. If she became a member of Clarke’s family, she wanted them all to get along, and if that meant laying everything out on the table for the woman… well, then, so be it.

A long moment passed of tense silence, each woman lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, a hand scooted just a tiny bit forward, catching Lexa’s eye and causing her to look up. She watched the woman tap her fingers a few times, lips drawn up in an unreadable look. Bracing for the worst, but hoping for the best, Lexa waited patiently until she gathered her thoughts. 

“... You really plan on marrying her?”

“I do,” she confirmed easily, a lazy smile spreading over her face. “Whenever she wants. Nothing big though. Despite Clarke being a complete  _ ham, _ I know she hates being the center of attention in a crowd for stuff like that, so I won’t do that to her. But I’ll make it wonderful for her, I promise.”

The woman smiled softly before it slipped from her lips as she worried the edge of the table between them. “... And you think she actually cares what I think?”

“I know she does… She just doesn’t know how to reconcile between trying to do what she thinks makes you happy, and following her own path… She wants to make you proud, but I don’t think she knows how.”

“I am proud of her.”

"I don’t think she knows that,” Lexa gently revealed. “I think sometimes… what you mean to be encouraging… comes across to her as criticism.”

“... I don’t know how else to talk to her,” the woman quietly admitted, head hanging slightly at the whispered disclosure.

Licking her lips nervously, Lexa nodded in understanding. “It- it may not be my place to say, but… Maybe stop bringing up all the things you think she should do?... Instead of reminding her how successful she could’ve been in Trauma, tell her how impressive it is that she runs her own department… Instead of mentioning how disappointed you are that things didn’t work out with Wells, maybe focus on the fact that she’s in a functioning, happy relationship?”

“Oh god,” she exhaled a laugh, pressing a hand to her forehead as she peeked over at Lexa. “Yes, in retrospect I see how exceptionally bad that was. I am very sorry, that was tasteless, regardless of everything else.”

“It’s alright, Dr. Griffin. I get it, I do.”

She almost startled as a hand reached out, laying softly on top of her own. “Please, Lexa. I mean it. Call me Abby… It would please me if you did.”

Nodding slowly, Lexa smiled with soft gratitude. “Alright. Thank you, Abby.”

"... Really I suppose the thanks should go to you,” she sighed as she retracted her hand. “I was being… willfully ignorant to how I was affecting my daughter.”

“But it’s because you care, and she  _ does _ know that. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be here.”

“You know you’re the first person she’s brought home, right?” Abby grinned as she sipped from her mug. Shaking her head in bewilderment, Lexa stared wide eyed at the revelation. “Yes, you're the first.”

"I-I… Really?"

"Mhm… I don't think she ever felt comfortable enough to bring anyone home before… Or maybe she just never thought anyone was special enough."

Heart roaring in her ears, Lexa did her best to temper the dopey smile at the theory. It was flattering and kind of exhilarating knowing that she was actually experiencing a first in their relationship. 

"It was both," a voice floated in, Lexa starting slightly in her seat as Clarke rounded the corner behind her and entered the room. 

"God, Clarke," she huffed. "We should've gotten you a bell instead of Penny."

"Just keepin' ya on your toes, baby," her girlfriend saccharinely smiled and blew her a kiss as she grabbed a mug and some coffee. "Morning, mom."

"Good morning, Clarke," Abby smiled softly, accepting the small kiss bumped to her cheek before Clarke took the half shared seat Lexa supplied when she shuffled over. "You look downright chipper," she continued, eyeing her daughter fondly. "You usually look like a disgruntled cat in the morning."

Masterfully covering her snort with a cough (and unsuccessfully dodging a soft elbow to the ribs), Lexa smirked at the woman across the table. 

"Excuse you both, I have elegance coming out of my ass from the second I wake up."

"Clearly," Abby sighed as she stood for a refill. "So, do you girls have any plans for the day?"

"I thought I'd make Lexa freeze to death so I could show her around the neighborhood. She wants to see 'where I grew up'," Clarke quoted with her fingers in the air, easily lacing their hands together when Lexa reached to bat them down. 

"Oh, that sounds lovely. You can take my car if you want."

"You sure?"

"Of course, I won't be needing it. And it'll give me time to get everything ready for tonight."

Smiling in confusion, Clarke cocked her head to the side. "You need to get ready for pizza, beer, and movies?"

"Oh, did I forget to tell you?" Abby asked airily as she glided past and out of the room. "I re-invited everyone from Christmas who could manage to make it."

Lexa watched as the smile fell from Clarke's lips as she hopped up from their seat. 

"You did what?!"

"Everyone's excited to meet your girlfriend, so be ready by eight."

"Mom!" Clarke shouted after her, staring a burning look of betrayal between Lexa and the empty hallway. "No!"

"Heh, Mom, yes. Be ready at eight ladies!"

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"It's not a big deal, love," Lexa tried to reason as Clarke switched outfits for the third time. 

Huffing loudly as she turned and snatched back up her original option, Clarke shook her head as she shimmied out of the dress. "I don't understand how you're so calm, you usually freak the fuck out at this kind of stuff."

Truth was, she was the one who was spiraling. After a wonderful afternoon of reminiscing about her childhood to the utter delight of her beloved, the prospect of having to deal with her crazy ass family's antics for an entire evening had swiftly turned her mood sour.

"True," her girlfriend agreed from where she sat perched on the end of the bed as Clarke tossed on her final choice. "But I'm not nervous about this. This is your family and stuff, it'll be fine."

"It'll be a melee," Clarke corrected as she double checked her makeup. "Cousin Howard is a lech who gets handsy when he drinks, Aunt Debbie is like, thirty percent homophobic-"

"That's oddly specific."

"Cousin Amy and her husband fight every holiday, Uncle Bill only ever wants to talk about his time in the service. It's a shit show, that's why I avoid it."

"Hey, stop. Come here," Lexa said gently, catching her wrist as she moved to walk past. Clarke let herself be pulled in, hands instinctively cupping the face gazing up at her as Lexa rested her chin on her stomach. "Everything is going to be fine. I promise."

"They're gonna be weird, and that's going to scare you off, and then I'm gonna die alone."

"Not possible," she grinned, pressing kisses through the fabric of Clarke's dress. "Nothing could scare me off. Especially not your family… Because one day they'll be my family, remember? 'No matter what happens, I'm stuck in this relationship'."

"I was kidding."

"Well I'm not," Lexa said sincerely as she pulled her closer, arms wrapping tightly around her waist. "I'm in this with you forever, Clarke… Your people are my people now, I don't care about anything else."

Softening into a puddle of emotionally gay goo, Clarke bent down to kiss puckered lips deeply. "Thank you, baby," she mumbled against her, kissing again before pulling back.

They both froze for a moment as the doorbell chimed, eyes darting to the door as her mother needlessly called up the stairs to announce their guests arrival. 

"You ready for this?" Clarke asked as she pulled Lexa up, accepting the hand slipping thoughtlessly into her own. 

"Of course I am," Lexa nodded as she steered them toward the door.  _ "We're  _ ready for this."

"I'm loving this confidence, baby."

"We deal with Raven, Anya, Octavia, and Costia. Seriously, how bad could this be?"

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Don't ever leave me alone with these people again," Lexa half pleaded, half demanded, as she glared at her girlfriend from the doorway of the bathroom that Clarke had just emerged from. 

"What the hell? I was gone for like five seconds," Clarke questioned as she came to stand in front of her, the loud chatter of voices filtering in through the hallway. 

"Yes well in five seconds, handsy Howard brushed 'crumbs' off my 'chest' _ twice _ ," she hissed, pointing to her pristine white button down. "Then he felt he just had to make it clear that he's adopted, so  _ technically _ you guys aren't related. I want to vomit, Clarke. Vomit."

"Egh, god he's so gross."

"I'm not done," she smiled with horror.  _ "Then _ Amy proceeded to tell me that she cheated on her husband two years ago-"

"Holy shit, that's amazing, I didn't know that."

"No. Nono. Because she then let me know she had cheated with a woman, and asked me if I had any pointers."

"Goddammit I always miss the actual good stuff."

"I wanna cry, Clarke. I want to vomit and cry and hide in a dark closet," she whined, burying her face in her hands. A second later she felt her hands pulled away, instead burying her face in Clarke's neck as her girlfriend held her and laughed.

"I'm sorry, baby," Clarke chuckled, rocking her gently on the spot. "I told you they are insane… Where was my mom through all of this?"

"Running interference with Debbie I think," she mumbled against her skin. "They're all so weird, how are you so normal?"

"Sweetheart," Clarke tutted and pulled back, "think about it. I'm not."

"Well compared to these people you are."

"Yeah, my dad's side of the family is… colorful."

"Clarke, dear, come here. I want to meet your friend!"

"Just a second Aunt Debbie," Clarke called over her shoulder, smiling grimly at Lexa's deep frown. "Buck up soldier, looks like we're heading back in."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Well, I mean I'm not a doctor, but no, I- I don't believe knees should make that noise-"

"Can I borrow you for a minute?"

At the strained sound of her girlfriend's voice, Lexa turned in her seat, looking up at the pursed lips above her. Brow furrowing in startled confusion, Lexa nodded rapidly as she lifted herself from the couch. "Please, excuse me, Bill."

"Sure, don't let me forget where I was in that story," he called as she followed behind the stiffly walking woman.

"Uh, yeah. I won't," she assured, mind already a million miles away from the conversation about Bill's bad knee they had just been having. They went down a long hallway that Lexa remembered led to a study, her anxiety growing with every step as the din of conversation receded. 

Ducking into the room and closing the door behind them, Lexa stopped short as Clarke spun around. 

"Did you say something to my mother this morning?"

Blinking once, and then twice, Lexa frowned deeply. "What?"

"She's acting really weird and it's freaking me out. What did you say to her?"

"... Well, how is she acting weird? She's seemed perfectly nice all evening."

"That's just it," Clarke stressed as she stepped closer. "She's never this pleasant."

"I'm honestly not following here, Clarke."

"Not a single thing, Lexa. She hasn't criticized a single thing. Or when she does, she backpedals immediately, but not her weird snarky way. It's like… genuine. She even corrected Debbie when she called you my roommate not two minutes ago. What the hell is going on?"

"Aren't these good things?" Lexa puzzled, raising her hands in confusion. "I thought this is what you've always wanted from her?"

"It is, but I don't understand it. I can't tell if she's just playing a game with me or-"

"She's not," Lexa chuckled and shook her head in bewilderment. "She wants to be closer to you, and she sees now why she hasn't been."

"How do you know?"

"Because I told her," she shrugged.

"What?"

"We were talking this morning before you got up. She told me a little bit about your dad and stuff, and that brought up how you guys are always so… bleh. So I just mentioned that a lot of what she says has the opposite effect and that it hurts you rather than encourages you… I told her you want to be close to her as well, but that she needs to accept and support you as you are,  _ without _ all the comments."

Finishing up, Lexa's eyes fell to the apparently stunned who was staring at her blankly. Her stomach flipped for a moment as she stood straighter under the steely blue gaze, silently wondering where she had gone wrong… right before Clarke lunged.

Her eyes widened comically as hands latched onto her shirt collar before lips crashed against her own. They stumbled back as Lexa's hands flung out to the sides to keep them upright, failing wildly as her back slammed into the flat side of a large bookcase. 

"Ow," she panted when she wrenched away.

"Sorry… you okay?" Clarke breathed, despite her having fallen to kiss a fiery trail down Lexa's neck the second they had separated. 

"Y-yeah, I'm okay," she fumbled as hands slid smoothly over her waist and stomach. "You just surprised me. I thought you were mad."

"God no… are you kidding me?" Clarke giggled as she unbuttoned two buttons to nip and lick across her chest. "You're so fucking perfect… Literally everything in my life is better," she panted and pulled back for a moment, gazing at her adoringly. "And it's always because of you… It's  _ always  _ you."

Lexa smiled softly, as Clarke tucked a rogue curl behind a delicate ear. "I don't know about that but… It's you and me. We make each other better… But I'm glad I could help make this trip bearable."

"Oh you helped," Clarke grinned, yanking the tails of her neatly tucked shirt out of her pants. "Now I'm gonna help you."

"Clarke," Lexa laughed quietly, whispering suddenly for no particular reason. "What are you doing?"

"Making your trip bearable," she answered as her hands deftly undid Lexa's belt.

"By fucking me in your mother's study?"

"Think of it as a thank you," she smirked wickedly, unzipping the clasp. "And try to be quiet."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

If you had asked Clarke how she would be ringing in the New Year celebration at her childhood home, squirming lightly in soaked panties as she smiled up at her still flushed-cheeked girlfriend as they counted down, surrounded by her family, would not have been her answer. 

But alas, here she was.

And very much regretting her poor sense of timing. 

Because although it had been incredibly hot, fucking Lexa slowly against the bookcase in the secluded study had left zero time for reciprocity before thundering voices alerted them to the impending ball drop. While Clarke had been more than willing to say screw it and just stay there together, her sweet, annoying, lovely, traitorous, angelic girlfriend insisted her mother would be heart-broken if they didn't rejoin the festivities. 

So after some harried re-buckling, zipping, and hair fixing, there she stood, lifting her glass of champagne as the group counted down. 

"4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year, baby," she quietly cooed, tipping up to catch slightly bruised lips in a slow New Year's kiss.

"Happy New Year, Clarke." She lost herself for a moment in those eyes; those eyes that seemed to see right to the heart of her, Clarke decided she'd be more than willing to live in that moment forever. The cheers and revelry around them fell on deaf ears as they swayed slowly in their spot in the corner. Lexa took another generous sip before kissing her again. "Last year Raven made us make wishes. We should do that again."

"You know that's not really a thing, right? You know that she's just insane?"

"I do, but I still think it was nice. So hush and think of a wish."

"Well what about you? What are you gonna wish for?"

"Same thing I always wish for," Lexa cheekily smiled. "Another year with you."

"... That… was so cheesy."

"Shut it."

"God, it made me wet."

"I love you, but sometimes I legitimately cannot stand you," Lexa laughed easily, shaking her head in exasperation. "Okay then, Shakespeare, why don't you do better?"

"You mean my wish or trying to out cheese you? 'Cause we both know that's impossible- ow," she chuckled at the slight pinch to her side. 

"I'm being serious… What do you wish to accomplish this next year?"

"Oh that's easy. I've already got it all figured out."

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well it's obvious isn't?" she scoffed. "I'm totally gonna marry you."

Lexa choked on her sip, the smile falling from her face in an instant. She looked almost stricken as she spoke quietly. "Jesus, Clarke… Please don't joke like that, I don't think it's funny."

Grinning softly at the clueless woman in her arms, Clarke sighed in content. "You're right, it's not funny… I am also not joking. I already have the ring and everything... It's not here, of course," she hurried to assure as wide eyed snapped back to her own. "That's something I want to do just you and me."

"... Clarke."

"And it'll still be a surprise. I think you'll like it. I refused to let Raven help me, so actually you'll probably love it."

_ "Clarke." _

"But come hell or high water, this time next year, I am going to be your wife."

Honestly, she was afraid the women was going to pass out with how rapidly she was breathing, a sheen of tears glossing over her eyes, making them look rounder and brighter and even more stunning than usual. 

She felt more than heard the breath of a laugh as Lexa seemed to struggle to keep herself together. "You say that like it's a threat," her girlfriend weakly shot back, her voice sounding thick, as though more words were lodged just beneath her throat.

"Oh it is," she nodded in sage confirmation. "If you think this was bad, imagine how they're gonna be with a dj and open bar."

"I don't care," Lexa laughed freer and fuller than before, resting their heads together as she cupped Clarke's jaw. "I'll take all of them if it means I get to have you."

"Good, because after we tell mom, we're gonna be expected here every holiday and… Yeah, just, don't tell her yet."

"Why not?" Lexa asked with a funny look on her face.

"I want it to come from me… I want her to know how serious I am. How ready I am, I guess… And I think-... I think it would feel special for her."

She felt her girlfriend relax in her arms, hands moving to card delicately through curly waves of blonde. 

"Plus," Clarke continued with a shrug, "if you mentioned it tonight she'd want to keep everyone here for another hour to celebrate something that hasn't even happened yet."

"Why would that be so bad?"

"Uhhh, because, baby. A stiff wind could get me off right now, I'm that fucking turned on."

"Oh god, right, of course," Lexa whispered, her ears adorably brightening at the gentle reminder. "I'm sorry, I completely forgot."

"Unfortunately, my underwear has not."

She watched her girlfriend take a moment to look her over, then raised the flute to her lips and tossed back the whole bubbly lot. Before she could react, Lexa grabbed hers and did the same, neatly setting them down on the small table beside them.

"Why did you do that?" she chuckled. 

"Because," Lexa whispered and nuzzled closer, "you know how I get on champagne."

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Btw it occurred to me I've never posted my tumblr, it's butmakeitgayblog. Forewarning, it's trash but 💁. 
> 
> Also! I'm thinking of doing Walk to Remember next 😬 like... I'm almost positive that's what I'm gonna do next. But it'd be like this; loosely based but not at all the actual movie. And it'd set in college cuz reasons, so no high school au here, sorry :/
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? I'm still open to other suggestions.


End file.
